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Casual 'throwaway' remarks: Strategies for the deaf and hard-of hearing

Casual and seemingly 'throw-away' remarks seem to come in two types. One is the sort of remark that people make to be friendly or sociable like a comment about the weather. The other actually requires a response, like to the shop assistant who mumbles for the hundredth time that day "Would you like a bag for this?" while not giving any visual signals that an answer is expected. One of the problems for deaf people is knowing the difference when neither have been heard properly.

The first is easiest to handle, if you recognise it for what it is, because a nod and a smile normally suffice. However, you may long to be sociable in response, but can't because of not knowing what has been said, so not being able to build on it. If you are going to see a reasonable amount of the person concerned, an explanation is in order, but that seems rather excessive as a response to a casual comment from a stranger. So potential friends get lost.

The second type of apparent 'throw-away' remark just makes deaf people look and feel stupid because of the strange look from the person making it. They are expecting a sensible response to a sensible query. Eventually you have to explain, but it is embarrassing.

Outstanding questions about hearing problems when using a phone

There don't seem to be any totally satisfactory strategies for handling throw-away remarks, I have mulled over several possibilities, all of which seem to have disadvantages as well as advantages:

1. Would it help for deaf people wear a T-shirt with writing on like "I am not stupid or unsociable, just deaf"? However that would seem to draw unnecessary attention to them, particularly with people who wouldn't be speaking to them anyway. So it seems to be rather over-the-top.

2. Would it help for deaf people to cards around showing various messages to  present to people who make remarks that aren't heard? This too seems excessive.

3. Would it help to exaggerate one's deafness in some circumstances so that people give up trying to interact? After all, learning the needs of a deaf person takes time and is different from one individual to another. and it isn't reasonable to expect anyone but close family, friends and colleagues to make that effort.

Can you suggest a solution?

Hearing problems

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